News » Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day: 3-3-2010
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"
Published: Mar 03, 2010 - 05:24 PM
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Joke of the Day: 1-3-2010
A rich millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday. During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it....
Published: Mar 01, 2010 - 06:32 PM
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Joke of the Day: 24-2-2010
When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup of the day, the Englishman was a bit dismayed."Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"
"It's bean soup," she replied.
"I don't care what it's been," he replied. "What is it now?"
Published: Feb 24, 2010 - 07:39 PM
Joke of the Day: 19-2-2010
A Texan is visiting Australia for the first time; He sees a sheep and starts laughing; he says to his Australian guide " oh, at home in Texas, sheep are twice as big!" He then sees a cow ands bursts " Puff, in Texas, our cows are much, much bigger!" And suddenly, he sees a kangaroo and asks, "What's that?" the guide answers " oh, that's just a grasshopper.."
Published: Feb 19, 2010 - 07:55 PM
Joke of the Day: 17-2-2010
A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
Published: Feb 17, 2010 - 07:47 PM
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Joke of the Day: 15-2-2010
Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" said the lawyer.
Published: Feb 15, 2010 - 05:51 PM
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Joke of the Day: 5-2-2010
A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is too far from the stage.He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter.
The usher looks at the quarter, leans over and whispers, "The wife did it."
Published: Feb 05, 2010 - 07:27 PM
Joke of the Day: 4-2-2010
Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" said the lawyer.
Published: Feb 04, 2010 - 07:18 PM
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Joke of the Day: 29-01-2010
A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked him to pray for them. "I'm going on a sabbatical to Rome," he replied, "and while I'm there, I'll light a candle for you."..
Published: Jan 29, 2010 - 08:06 PM
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Joke of the Day: 22-01-2010
An idiot called the airport for flight information. "How long is your flight from Los Angeles to Denver?" he asked. "Just a minute," the pleasant agent replied. "Thank You" he said and hung up.
Published: Jan 22, 2010 - 08:12 PM
Joke of the Day: 20-01-2010
They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends andfamily are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say
about you?
The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was the
greates doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful
husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our
children of tomorrow."
The last guy replies,
"I would like to hear them say... LOOK!!! HE'S MOVING!!!!!"
Published: Jan 20, 2010 - 05:21 PM
Joke of the Day: 18-01-2010
Three engineers and three accountants were traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each bought tickets and watched as the three engineers bought only one ticket.
Published: Jan 18, 2010 - 05:38 PM
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Joke of the Day: 14-01-2010
A little boy asked his dad for a dollar to give to a little old lady in the park. His father impress by his son’s kindness, gave him the dollar. “There you are my son,” said the father. “But, tell me, isn’t the little lady able to work any more? “She sells candy” was the boy’s reply.
Published: Jan 14, 2010 - 08:03 PM
Joke of the Day: 12-01-2010
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists...
Published: Jan 12, 2010 - 07:37 PM
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Joke of the Day: 11-01-2010
One man said to the other, "You know, there are really only threekinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who
can't.
Published: Jan 11, 2010 - 08:02 PM
Joke of the Day: 17-12-2009
A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the othermonks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they
are copying from copies, not the original manuscripts
Published: Dec 17, 2009 - 08:06 PM
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Joke of the Day: 16-12-2009
A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together.
Published: Dec 16, 2009 - 05:10 PM
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Joke of the Day: 15-12-2009
A man comes home from a night of drinking with the boys. As he falls through the doorway of his house, his wife snaps at him, “what’s the big idea coming home half drunk?”The man replies, “I’m sorry, honey. I ran out of money.”
Published: Dec 15, 2009 - 08:13 PM
Joke of the Day: 14-12-2009
An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.Dear Bubba:
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad
Published: Dec 14, 2009 - 01:37 PM
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Joke of the Day: 27.11.2009
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer — you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Published: Nov 27, 2009 - 07:07 PM
Joke of the Day: 27. November 2009
Vor dem Duell: "Sie haben mich vorhin einen Wanzenheini genannt! Ich fordere sie zum Duell auf! Nennen Sie mir nur die Waffen!""Insektenspray!"
Published: Nov 27, 2009 - 12:00 AM
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Joke of the Day: 26.11.2009
Lady, this vacuum cleaner will cut your work in half.Good. I'll take two of them.
Published: Nov 26, 2009 - 08:18 PM
Joke of the Day: 26. November 2009
"Nanu, Gaby, wie gehst Du denn, Du machst ja so komische Trippelschritte?""Ja, weißt Du, ich gehe heute Abend zum Ball unseres FKK-Vereins, und da habe ich mir eben einige Lockenwickler eingedreht!"
Published: Nov 26, 2009 - 12:00 AM
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Joke of the Day: 25.11.2009
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."
The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.
The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."
Published: Nov 25, 2009 - 08:49 PM
Joke of the Day: 24. November 2009
Manfred hat bei einer Billigfluggesellschaft für die Hälfte des normalen Flugpreises gebucht. Nachdem alle im Flugzeug Platz genommen haben, meldet sich der Pilot: "Guten Tag, meine Damen und Herren. Hier spricht der Kapitän. Ich begrüße Sie an Bord unserer DC-9 aus der ersten Serie. Bitte sprechen Sie mir laut und deutlich nach: 'Vater unser, der Du bist im Himmel...'"
Published: Nov 24, 2009 - 12:00 AM
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